The Write Word

Ugly Questions

Unspeakable ugly questions 
ring in my heart today. 

Why does my young friend, mother of 3, 
face cancer?  
Is it contained?  
Has it spread?

Why does my sister-in-law suffer so from the cancer that engulfed her body in her late 30’s?  The after effects of the thing that tried to kill her, 
still reduces her to agonizing limitations, 
a daily, painful tearing inside her body.

Why does my precious friend, faithful, loving wife, have to face the future alone?
What of her two young sons? 
Will their faith in all that is good, stable, 
be reduced to rubble?

Why does  Delisa Cox,
beloved wife and mother, 
godly woman, leader, 
lie stricken with tumors that cause such agony
and imminent death?

The unfairness of it all strikes me 
like javilin through the belly. 
 Acid in my stomach, 
boils up from my belly and up into my throat, 
a burning bile.

I drink from lifes bitter cup. 
The thoughts and feelings,
like bitter coffee grounds 
against my tounge and teeth, 
begin spilling out to my Father. 


"Why not let the cancer strike some evil, 
murderous person?"
"Why not let disease take root 
and core the life from 
someone who is killing themselves 
willfully with poisons?"
"Why not let the abandoning husband 
be to an unfaithful, unloving wife?"

I know I am safe here.
I know he understands
when I don't understand.

I know he is not afraid of my questions.
I know, that He knows,
that my ways and understanding are
so far below His. 

In loving compassion,
 He pours the water of his word 
over my burning soul, 
washing the tears, 
rinsing the bitter grounds 
from my mouth. 

From His letter to me, the sweet flow of living water rains down, 
“This is why we don’t lose heart, 
even though our outside self is wasting away, 
our inside self is being renewed every day.  
This light, momentary hardship 
is getting us ready 
for eternal, permanent rewards.  
We don’t focus on the right now, 
the right here, 
because these are transient things.  
It is the invisible things that are really permanent. “
(Cor 4:16-18)

What bitter cup do you drink from today?
Physical pain?
Heartbreaking betrayal?
 Results of your own sin/selfish decision?
Here, sit a moment, 
let me hand you a pitcher of 
life giving water, 
from your Father.
Take up the water of the word,
 and let the rinsing begin 

"Now you are clean by the 
word I have spoken to you…."
John 15:3

Life can throw stuff at you 
that could make you lose heart.  
If this life is all you have.  
But if this life is merely preparation, 
instruction for the next,
 real life
then these hardships are momentary.  

Just on the other side of this life, 
of this skin, 
with these hardships, 
lies the real one.  

A body incorruptible. 
No disease.  
Hearts inpenatrable by sin.  
No betrayal. 
Life without end.  
No goodbyes.

And so we find the answer to the question 
"If God is good, why does He allow suffering?" 
is this...
because God is so good
 He made a place where there is none.

This world is not my home
I'm merely passing through...

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