Unspeakable ugly questions
ring in my
heart today.
Why does my young friend, mother of
3,
face cancer?
Is it contained?
Has it spread?
Why does my sister-in-law suffer so
from the cancer that engulfed her body in her late 30’s? The after effects of the thing that
tried to kill her,
still reduces her to agonizing limitations,
a daily, painful tearing inside her body.
Why does my precious friend,
faithful, loving wife, have to face the future alone?
What of her two young sons?
Will
their faith in all that is good, stable,
be reduced to rubble?
Why does Delisa Cox,
beloved wife and mother,
godly woman, leader,
lie stricken with tumors that cause such agony
and imminent death?
The unfairness of it all strikes me
like javilin through the belly.
Acid in my stomach,
boils up from my belly and up into my throat,
a burning bile.
Unwillingly,
I drink from lifes bitter cup.
The thoughts and feelings,
like bitter coffee grounds
against my tounge and teeth,
begin spilling out to my Father.
"Why?"
"Why not let the cancer strike some
evil,
murderous person?"
"Why not let disease take root
and core the life from
someone who is killing themselves
willfully with poisons?"
"Why not let the abandoning husband
be
to an unfaithful, unloving wife?"
I know I am safe here.
I know he understands
when I don't understand.
I know he is not afraid of my questions.
I know, that He knows,
that my ways and understanding are
so far below His.
In loving compassion,
He pours the
water of his word
over my burning soul,
washing the tears,
rinsing the bitter
grounds
from my mouth.
From His letter to me, the sweet flow of living water rains down,
“This is why we don’t lose heart,
even
though our outside self is wasting away,
our inside self is being renewed every
day.
This light, momentary
hardship
is getting us ready
for eternal, permanent rewards.
We don’t focus on the right now,
the
right here,
because these are transient things.
It is the invisible things that are really permanent. “
(Cor 4:16-18)
What bitter cup do you drink from today?
Physical pain?
Heartbreaking betrayal?
Results of your own sin/selfish decision?
Here, sit a moment,
let me hand you a pitcher of
life giving water,
from your Father.
Take up the water of the word,
and let the rinsing begin
again.
"Now you are clean by the
word I have spoken to you…."
John 15:3
Life can throw stuff at you
that
could make you lose heart.
If this
life is all you have.
But if this
life is merely preparation,
instruction for the next,
real life,
then these
hardships are momentary.
Just on
the other side of this life,
of this skin,
with these hardships,
lies the real
one.
A body incorruptible.
No disease.
Hearts inpenatrable by sin.
No betrayal.
Life without end.
No goodbyes.
And so we find the answer to the question
"If God is good, why does He allow suffering?"
is this...
because God is so good
He made a place where there is none.
This world is not my home
I'm merely passing through...