One instant I was standing upright, moving somewhat awkwardly through the door, my arms loaded with grocery bags and the next I was making my way to the floor. With the grace and agility of a water buffalo cavorting through the muck of a river bed I wallowed about trying to balance myself. To no avail. In a last ditch effort to regain balance, I sacrificed the eggs and tender bananas with a movement reminiscent of a professional bowler. Up went the eggs, down went me.
Let us pull the curtain of mercy over the ensuing ruckus and recovery and just suffice to say that eggs do not make for easy clean up. Slimy little boogers that they are, their ability to sliiiiiide up under washers and dryers can put you right near the edge of stinking mad. If I were higher up in the PP scale I would have had to pull the gazillion pound appliances out and mop under them. As it is, thankfully, I am down around #5 NP so it worked out just fine to slide a paper towel under them to soak up the slimy parts underneath. Honey pie is a 10+ on the PP scale and he will be home soon to deal with the rest.
Just in case you find yourself in an embarrassing state of ignorance concerning these scales, let me enlighten you. There are in life only two kinds of people. Particular People and Non-particular People. I recognized this early on and devised the PP and NP scale to rank folks. You can figure out pretty quick where someone falls on these scales (ingeniously designed by me) and you can identify their reactions/feelings about pretty much everything. You’ll have to get your own feel for ranking, but if you start now, by summer you’ll have it down to a science. For example, a 10 on the PP scale irons their clean sheets and underwear. A 10 on the NP scale doesn’t care if the HAVE any clean sheets or underwear.
So, back to THE FALL. After the clean up, grrrr, I chanced to discover just what precipitated the fall in the first place. A toy. Left out. To be stepped on. A piece of fifty cent plastic that could have caused a thousand dollars, or more, in Dr. bills plus the bodily harm inflicted on me and my priceless self. What were they thinking?
I marched through the house full of indignation looking for the perpetrator of this egregious offence. Lining the suspects up I inquired as to WHOM did this weapon of near death belong. The six year old readily identified it as his. When asked why it had so carelessly been left out, with no regard to the personal welfare of his mother, he replied that it had not been left out. It had been placed in the diaper bag so that he would have it to play with after church. The same diaper bag that I had neglected to zip shut, allowing the widower maker to fall into the floor, and my path.
So I was blinded once again, by the glaring truth that the accident was, as is so often the case, my fault. My carelessness with the zipper started the chain of events that ended with a sore back, neck and serious head bang on the dryer, broken eggs, bruised bananas and busted butter box. It was not the fifty cent piece of plastic that was to blame, it was the opportunity to zip up a flap not taken.
How many times have we suffered from not taking the time and effort to zip up things in our lives? A friendship that gets lost from open lips that should have stayed zipped, a test failed because we neglected to zip up our play time and study more, a spiritual failure because we chose not to zip up our hearts against temptation. How many people flail and fall in their financial lives because they failed to zip up their budgets? How many marriages have floundered because of an open zipper in the heart? We fail to take time to zip it up, and something falls out, or something falls in. And sooner or later, WHAM, we find ourselves flailing about trying to stay upright.
It would do us well to take time everyday to pray the words found in Psalm 139:23-24 “Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me. Cross examine and test me and get a clear picture of what I’m about, see if I have been doing wrong, and guide me, all the way to eternal life.” And if we ask, He will show us where we have unzipped places. Have any unforgiveness in your heart, have you someone you need to apologize to, do you have any unhealthy indulgences, are you keeping your finances according to Gods plan? If so, take it from someone who learned it the hard way. It only takes one little neglectrd zipper to lead to a great big fall.