The Write Word

The two S words

The two S words that bring a wince to the faces of Honey Pie and I are sports and shopping. One mans pleasure is another mans pain. As much as two people love each other there are just some things the man will always be wrong about. Like sports and shopping.

The mind numbing agony I would endure sitting through one of his ball games would be akin to the torture he would undergo accompanying me to the fairgrounds to explore 500 vendors with treasures from around the globe. We’d both rather eat glass milkshakes while having our toenails pulled out with pliers. Rather than inflict this on each other, as we tried in our younger years, we have reached the compromise of the truly loving couple. Find something we both love to do and do it often. Making sure that the thing we love to do is done together, and more often, than the things we do separately. I’m still hoping that as he matures he’ll come around to my way of seeing it. Hope springs eternal. For the sake of family unity I’ll just leave off my opinion of sports, which includes but is not limited to, the colossal waste of time, effort, energy and brain cells, but do let’s examine the shopping.

Honey Pie sees it as something to be avoided at all cost unless completely and direly necessary. He only forays into the dangerous field of the market if it cannot be avoided. His shopping strategy includes a detailed plan of action. It’s divide and conquer. Necessary items are listed, in order of their location in the store, and distractions, clearance racks, for example, to be viewed as land mines and avoided on fear of death. His plan is to get in, extract the items needed and get out as quickly as possible. There is a goal, a time frame, and it’s all worked out in THE PLAN. Woe to anyone who messes with THE PLAN.

I, on the other hand, see shopping as preventative medicine and exercise for the spirit. Something to be enjoyed and practiced as often as one can in order to stay healthy. It is household management and therapy all wrapped up in one delightful trip after another.
After making the rough list of necessary items there is the adventure of stumbling across treasures and unto fore unrealized necessities. It does not have to be on the list to be needed. The list is merely a starting place with endless possibilities. The path from the front door of the store to the check out counter is NOT a straight line. Ever. There are lovely forays hither and yon, samples to be smelled, tasted or tried. There are luxury items to be stroked, admired and drooled over. There are sale racks to be lingered over and books to be perused. The experience is as much a part of the pleasure as the purchase. The way God intended, no doubt. I’m wracking it up to part of the curse put on men in the fall that he is unable to fully appreciate the experience as I do.

The area we do agree, kinds of, is the budget for both areas. His is more of a stable line while mine tends to be more fluid from one category to another. New shoes can be part of groceries if you are going to wear them grocery shopping….right?