If you love BBQ chicken .. and I mean reeeeealllly love it you can eat it down to the bone and lick your fingers and then go back and chew on the bone. And if you love chocolate cake you can eat one and appreciate it immensely. But if I take your bbq chicken and mix it all up with your chocolate cake it immediately becomes unappetizing. Not because your tastes have changed, not because the food has changed.. but it is not in its proper place.
Everything has a place. To everything there is a season. The difference in enjoying your way through life and gagging your way through life lies in being able to recognize which place you are in … and what goes where. And understanding that you CANNOT be in two places at the same time. Not and do either one of them justice anyway.
I know because I am living it. Even though I am as old as dirt, I find myself in the delightful, if tiring, position of being the mother of a new baby boy. His arrival marks the departure of many things. Like sleep. And memory cells. And Wednesday night pizza money. And jumping in the car to run around free as a bird. There are lots of things I’m having to say ‘no’ to. Things my mind and skin enjoy doing. But his needs come first. It’s my place to be here for him…. for now.
One day I’ll be able to take the classes that interest me. I’ll have time to read all the books that seductively call my name from the shelves of the library as I hustle past them on my way to the kiddy section. One day I’ll be able to join my friends who meet for ‘big girl’ lunches and outings while their kids are at school. One day I’ll be back in the choir, on the bus and at the planning meetings. But not for awhile. If I try to cram in these things I will do neither them nor my son justice. If I stretch myself too thin (oh to be thin again) trying to do it all or have it all I will steal from myself the joys my current place holds for me.
So I'm choosing to enjoy my place. Here where soft chubby hands close around my fingers and my heart. Milky breath wafts into my ear with a song sweeter than any symphony. Soft coos of love flow out of my new sons lips and stream over my heart, melting this world weary traveler with joy and wonder. Yup…. I’m glad to be a woman who knows her place.